By Pastor Jasper Mutale
” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4).
Through God’s grace I am keeping and helping about 30 street children and after much prayers and refection it was laid upon my heart to address fathers as a mean of preventing future damage to the families. If you are reading this article, kindly share to your fellow man who is a father. This will help us as men guard against any attacks that may come into your house. This article looks at reasons that will make your daughter end up on the streets if you fail to prevent this. It also looks at reasons that has potential for your son to end up on the streets. The aim of sharing this article is to prevent having broken homes and further prevent the issue of street children in our lovely country. Above all , dear parents, especially fathers be encouraged that God will help you to bring up your children in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord.The God who never fails will honour you and supply all your needs at all times as you serve him day and night. He will decorate your life and your enemies will bow in shame. His name is “Jehovah” because He will grace you more than you can comprehend, more love than man can know or show, more yield than man can sow. That is why you must determine to start and finish this race of fatherhood, do not allow any seed of fear or discouragement to block you. Your destiny was re-constructed by Jesus on the cross, victory is coming to YOU in Jesus Name! Amen.
“For whatever is born of God over-cometh the world: and this is the victory that over-cometh the world, even our faith” 1 John 5:4.
Today, I want to encourage you, no matter what you are going through that you will not end like this. The sickness will not kill you, the challenges you are facing will not overpower you. God will come through for you. Whenever God makes a promise to you, He is not trying to tell you what He is going to do, He is telling you what He has already done in eternity. God does not come or go, He is always in the present and He lives in the eternal present. So I say, cheer up do not lose heart. No matter the challenge do not lose heart and refuse to be overwhelmed. The scripture says trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not unto your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path.
Despite this, fathers are notorious for doing things that anger their children and lose their hearts. Because if we lose their hearts, we lose everything. They simply won’t listen to us. This is so important that if it is not heeded fathering will fail.
Intimacy is tied to feeling emotionally safe around someone. If your kids get angry with you and you don’t resolve it, their hearts will close off to you and become bitter. Then the Devil will begin to fill their minds with accusations against you. He will develop a “list of crimes” in their thoughts of wrongs you have committed, then he will use this list to help them justify rebellion against you.
So when your children get angry with you, you need to stop what you are doing, get engaged, and help them deal with their anger until it is gone. You cannot live in denial and tolerate even one barrier that chokes out your ability to influence them for good.
Here is a list of ten things fathers do to anger and lose the hearts of their children. Seriously consider these to see if any of them are present in your relationship with your kids.
- Your absence. Whether a man abandons his kids all at once or is never home because he is always working, he still leaves them as sheep without shepherd. This sends the signal to your kids, “
- Your anger. Proverbs 27:4 says that wrath is cruel. When you react in anger, you can thoughtlessly say or do things in the heart of the moment that deeply wound your son or daughter’s spirit long-term. Which can cause them to withdraw from you. Love is slow to anger!
- Unjust discipline. Children can sour if they feel discipline is unjustified or administered unfairly. Parents must explain rules and consequences clearly using God’s word and authority rather than their opinion (Ephesians 6:1-3). Every time you discipline your child, ask yourself, “How can I train them without losing their heart?”
- Harsh criticism. Dads can be at times unnecessarily hard on their kids. What seems like a small chisel of criticism to you can feel like a crushing hammer to them. Never call your children names or embarrass them in public. Don’t be sarcastic or belittling. Show them how to laugh at themselves and learn. Kids who have no freedom to fail will tend to rebel when given any freedom at all.
- Lack of compassion. Mercy warms hearts; carelessness distances them. Children can get worked up about temporary, pressing matters- school, friends, feelings, competitions. We must provide a listening ear, wise counsel, prayerful support, and a willing hand. Rescuing your children during the time of their panic makes you their hero! Help them think of you as an oasis they can run to, not a dry desert that offers no relief. The more you make enemies with your children and your friends, the more you become like a cobweb and eventually you shall fail to come out of the cobweb you have created for your own self. Resolve to be at peace with your house hold and everyone.
- Favouritism. Less favoured children become resentful. Favouritism and jealousy in scripture led Rachel and Leah to fight and Joseph’s brothers to hate him. You may not feel like you play favourites -but perception is reality to your children if they think you do. Every one of your children should know that you have no favourites.
- Hypocrisy. No is perfect, but preaching one thing while doing another, breaking promises, refusing to say sorry or apologizing will just kill trust between you and your children. Learn to say sorry, it’s a heart of humility. When they identify hypocrisy in you, be quick to repent, turning from your sin and seeking God’s forgiveness and your family’s.
- Hurting their mother. Whether through divorce, adultery, or mistreatment, children feel confused and betrayed when their father hurts their mother. They will tend to take up offense for the woman who love them. Since they are commanded by God to honour their mother, you need to defend her. If you teach them to dishonour her, they will eventually dishonour you.
- Misunderstanding. Rebellion is often tied to kids feeling misunderstood and not listened to by their parents. When children open up, parents needs to listen carefully and then communicate back to the child what they have heard before sharing quickly their own opinions or disagreeing with them. If a matter is important to them, it should be important to you too, so tune in and listen.
- Unrealistic expectations. Children will become quickly discouraged if they believe their parents have set the up to fail. Avoid comparing their weakness with another child’s strength or expect them to act mature as you. Parents have to find how God has wired their child and develop that wiring “rather” than forcing them to become something God never intended for them to become. If your child believes he can’t please you, he’ll eventually quit trying.
Let these ten warnings signs help you avoid future pitfalls and also motivate change that will draw your children back into your arms.
Children Spell LOVE as TIME. Meaning you need more and more heart to heart time with your kids. You can buy them presents and every-big things but as longer as you fail to spend time with them, means a lot harm to them. Each and every child has an emotional tank or a vacuum that needs to be filled by your love, attention, affirmation, eye contact and gifts.
Remember something dear beloved. When you bless your children, you are lovingly using your God-given authority to verbally affirm them toward future success.
May God bless you this 2014 with more wisdom to raise your kids. May God alone be your teacher this 2014. May God fight all your battles in Jesus’ name. I pray that your heart shall forever be with your children and wife in Jesus’ Name. I declare and decree God’s blessing upon your household in Jesus’ Name. I Declare and decree Life in the relationship with your family in the Name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. I declare and decree that you shall not die now but live longer to see your great grandchildren in the mighty name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. I declare and decree that your children too shall live longer to even see their great grandchildren, in the Name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth.
For now shalom, shalom and for prayers and fellowship kindly reach me at email@example.com or 0966487131.